As the mother and ultimate star of this drama-filled day, Momzilla has been dreaming about this day since her mother-in-law ruined her own wedding. The dress has to be perfect, there must be a veil whether you want it or not, roses not lilacs, communion service even though you’ve told her over and over again that you don’t want a religious ceremony and she will make you wear Grandma’s ugly necklace because “it would mean so much to her.” And to top it all, she will take up precious prep time from your stylist that could’ve been used on you, because after all, there will be pictures and she and your father paid for the photographer.
What to do if you encounter a Momzilla
- DO NOT engage her in conversation about her own marriage.
- DO NOT mention you’re single unless you want to get stuck going on a date with her “adorable, creative” nephew.
- DO NOT look her directly in the eyes.
- DO tell her her dress looks great on her no matter how many times she asks.
- DO reassure her that you can’t see the bald spot on the back of her head.
- DO compliment her boob job.
- DO play dead if Momzilla attacks.