Posts tagged funny

I have seen brides sing to their grooms and it was perfectly nice… especially when the brides had a good voice. But that’s not what this “show” is about. Come on brides, your wedding should not be an excuse to perform. Also, I think I’d be as uncomfortable as the groom is if I had an R&B song dramatically sang AT me too.

Oh nerd bride, how you bring me so much joy! Having worked with several of you over the last 12 years, you have a special place in my heart.

From your snorty, awkward laugh, to the droning on and on about your latest D&D winning accomplishments, to the extremely detailed description of your newest authentic leather dagger holster and other subject that I couldn’t care less about, it’s all so delightful. Whether it be the Star Wars themed cake, the gothic wedding gown or your steam punk accessories, your goal in having a memorable wedding has been accomplished. Sure, I may not know the details of your ridiculous ceremony (Klingon priest and all), because I’ve been drowning you out this whole time (don’t worry, the drool from fallen asleep while doing your hair makes a great gel substitute), I’m still happy for you.

These are the moments I know that I’ve chosen the right profession and am making a difference in this world.  You can barely tell I put makeup on your face, because you didn’t “want to go overboard” and I braided your scraggly, way too long hair. You feel beautiful and that’s what’s important. Most importantly, despite what others may have told you, you found someone with the same uncommon, boring ass interests. And by getting married, you and your nerd groom are taking two more singles off the dating market, thus saving the normals from a potential, future awful date.

I’m little torn on the new line of UGG wedding boots. On one hand, they’re genius. You’ll be standing a lot on your wedding day and you certainly won’t maintain that beautiful glow if you’re in pain. Plus, your man might as well get used to the comfortable you that you’ll become after the honeymoon. On the other hand, you can’t bother to put on a pair of heels for one special occasion? Come on, it’s “The Most Important Day Of Your Life”.

These are the Sparkle I Do’s “only” $190. If you really think you’ll wear these any other time besides your wedding, maybe they’re worth it. Plus, maybe you’re into sparkly, shiny boots that my 7 year old niece would die for.

Here, we have the Bailey I Do UGGS, for those who say, “I do wish I could get married on the moon.”

Both are certainly better than the Fluff Flip Flop I Do’s. I swear to God, that’s the actual name. These should either be worn by the fluffer in a porn movie (lot of hard work, she deserves a pair of comfy shoes) or by the crazy man in the loony bin. These are NOT wedding shoes.

My overall review is a “These are Stupid” Rating. They are ugly, stupid, attention seeking wedding shoes. But if you want to give a pair to your stylist, THAT I’d be on board with. Afterall, we’re the ones standing for hours making you look good. Just like that fluffer, don’t we deserve a little R & R?

(Source: uggaustralia.com)

If you make your wedding party start getting ready before 8am, you’re kind of an ass.

                             Sure, it is Your Day, but you’re still an ass.

Another great money-saving idea: get married at IKEA! That’s what Julie & Willie did in honor of their first date - a reunion 20-years after they graduated from high school together.

Guests were overheard raving about the coordinating decor. Though many were not so thrilled that they had to put together their own chairs for the ceremony. And yes, they did serve Swedish meatballs at the reception. Congratulations on your nuptials! Hopefully the marriage will last longer than the Ikea furniture it was founded on.

(Source: Daily Mail)